Healing Through The Dark Emotions

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The Power Of The Moment

The Dark Empath VS the Narcissist: The Signs

What happened next: an energy larger than my body could contain broke through in a rush of strange, unfathomable syllables.

In retrospect, searching for a way to describe this experience, I thought of the phrase speaking in tongues. I know very little about speaking in tongues except that in certain moments of altered consciousness, some people seem to manifest this giftif thats what it is. Mostly, Ive heard of this happening to Pentecostalists. Its the last thing I would expect to happen to me.

What came through me, as I stood and wrapped my arms around my dead baby, was a form of speech emanating from a source deeper than personality. Though utterly indecipherable, these strange sounds were a kind of prayer. I was standing behind a curtain on the ICU, surrounded by the sanitized hospital air. Having asked for several moments to be alone with Aaron just after he expired, this incomprehensible prayer was the last thing I uttered before they took his body away.

Sadness Anger And Fear Are Essential

In my experience, many of the women I know in my personal life and many of those I see in therapy are often quite skilled at considering how others might feel and at caring for others emotions. Its when fear or sadness or pain show up in our own lives that we tend to turn away the fastest. Were afraid that if we start feeling, well never stop, or that we wont be able to function, or that well be completely overwhelmed. We hold tightly to false beliefs that we can completely eradicate emotional suffering and that our negative emotions are a dangerous hindrance to the good life. I cannot begin to count the number of clients Ive seen over the years who have said, I dont want to be mad about this, or My goal is to be happy . We want our emotions to be gone. But sadness, anger, fear, griefthese are appropriate, healthy, essential ingredients of a good life. We cant keep them at bay, nor should we. Brene Brown talks about this in her work: when we numb ourselves to one side of the emotional range, we also numb ourselves to the other. If we cut ourselves off from pain, we cut ourselves off from joy. If we learn not to be sad, we are never truly happy.

Publishers Weekly1 Jan 2003

In this heartfelt therapeutic manifesto, psychotherapist Greenspan argues that grief, fear and despair are not pathologies to be medicated away but emotions that help us grow psychologically and spiritually. The disavowal of these painful emotions leads to depression, numbness and violence in both individuals and the world at large. But by”attending, befriending, and surrendering” to grief, fear and despair we can effect an”alchemical transformation” through which they become”gratitude, faith and joy.” Greenspan’s eclectic approach to healing invokes”depth psychology, Hasidic Judaism and Buddhist meditation” her desire to make”meaning out of suffering” owes something to religious traditions that acknowledge the redemptive value of pain, as well as psychoanalysis’s dedication to lighting up the mind’s dark recesses, while her praxis includes New Age and recovery movement therapeutics such as visualization, breathing exercises,”chakra bodytalk” and prayer. Drawing on her clinical experience and her own painful recollections of the death of her infant son and her parents’ travails during the Second World War, Greenspan writes intensely and compassionately. This is a committed, serious look at the emotions most of us would rather sweep under the rug.

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Healing Through The Dark Emotions

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  • A New Approach to Women and Therapy

    “Greenspan writes intensely and compassionately. This is a committed, serious look at the emotions most of us would rather sweep under the rug.”Publishers Weekly

    “The gold standard of books on difficult emotions. This book has the power to heal and change your life and the way you live it.”Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

    “A crucial book that teaches us to alter fundamentally our fearful relationship to deep feelings.”Kim Chernin, Los Angeles Times

    “This remarkable book has taught me a whole new way of thinking.”Harold Kushner, author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People

    The Wisdom Of Mourning

    ISBN 9781590301012

    And then, suddenly, a voice that certainly is not that of my everyday self said No! Its Aaron who is dead, not you. Youre alive! It was the wisdom of grief. I was called back to life by the wisdom of grief.

    I felt myself spinning, as though through a tunnel, and then landing back in the room. Whose voice this was, calling me to be here, urging me to choose life, despite my everyday selfs desire to follow Aaron into the next world, I do not know. But the voice was undeniable, and I listened.

    In the weeks and months that followed, I came to know these two selves: the one that urged me to give up the ghost, and the other that, despite everything, was alive in a new way. The simultaneous shattering of ego and expansion of consciousness is a common experience for people who are grieving.

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    Listen To Your Body Using Your Breath As A Support

    To feel and be with and befriend our emotions, we have to learn how to listen to our bodies. Our breath is one of the primary ways in which we regulate our energy and emotions. Our breath helps us locate our feelings, in our bodies, and soothe our feelings, in our bodies. One of my therapy heroes and mentors said in a graduate school class: The simplest form of self-care is three deep breaths. I used to think that was sort of a throw-away, but the more Ive done this work, the more Ive understood her to be right and have seen how supportive it can be simply to breathe.

    I know it seems small on the surface, and somehow not enough, but I strongly believe that slow is fast and less is more. A regular practice of this kind of listening is vital to self-awareness, and to a healthy relationship with self and others. What about you? Would you be willing to try? Or is it something you already do? Im curious. Let me know.

    Miriam Greenspan: Healing Through The Dark Emotionsthe Power Of Emotional Alchemy Wednesday September 5 2012

    Miriam Greenspan: Healing Through the Dark Emotionsthe power of emotional alchemy

    Miriam Greenspan

    Episode Description

    Thresholds to Awakening

    Archives Available on VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel

    You are here for a reason. What you perceive to be a mistake is not a mistake at all. It is a radical opportunity to crack open, catalyze your potential, and embody your soul. An opportunity you would have never consciously chosen, but something has led you here: to the Threshold. The purpose at the Threshold is not simply to get better, the purpose is to allow yourself to be initiated. To let go of who you thought you were, so that who you really are can emerge.Hosted by Sweigh Emily Spilkin, seasoned psychotherapist and soul guide, Thresholds to Awakening offers a deep-dive into the paradoxical nature of transformation. The show includes intimate conversations with spiritual luminaries about how to work with difficulty, stories about people finding their way through impossible situations, and transformational guidance to help you access your deepest truth.

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    Alchemy Of Dark Emotions Is Where Greenspan Shines

    I appreciated and saw value in much of this book. Particularly in understanding and working through the dark emotions. Many impactful strategies and knowledge. It was interesting to think how we are not only impacted by what happens to us, but what happened to our ancestors, the earth, and humanity at large. Where I disagree is her use of the term patriarchy. Patriarchys are neither good nor bad though they can be implemented in ways that are either helpful or harmful. Perhaps it would have sat better with me had she explained that the patriarchy has become imbalanced and is leaning toward such and such evils instead of assuming the patriarchy is the umbrella through which so much harm has occurredbecause its not the patriarchyits wickedness.

    Best Book For Introspective Trauma Healing

    How to overcome Childhood Emotional Neglect | Kati Morton

    Since reading this book last year, I find I recommend this book to someone at least once a week. As a truama informer Shadow Walker inspired by Jung’s work on the shadow and individuation and Jane Meredith’s work on spiritual and myth-informed soul-returning underworld journeying, this book gave me the ability to combine psychology and spirituality practice into real and highly effective journeying practices to heal both known and unknown parts of my shadow self. I was able to embrace and begin befriending my grief, despair, and fear. while I haven’t master the alchemy of emotions, I can be content to be with them in solitude until I am able to move in the world while holding them proudly with me as air go about my day. Written during 9/11, this is book contains insights into global trauma and healing that are especially applicable to the current Covid-19 pandemic.

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    • Overall3 out of 5 stars
    • Performance3 out of 5 stars

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    No Preparation For The Power Of Grief

    Before we are personally affected, we know, of course, that death is an inherent part of life. People each day die of cancer or heart disease, of AIDS or accidents. They are raped and murdered. People are sick or have children who are sick and who die.

    We know this. But we cannot emotionally absorb the fact that we could easily be one of them. Only when we ourselves are diagnosed with a serious disease or lose a loved one do we know, in a different way, that loss is not just something that happens to other people. The normal ego maintains its illusion of control and invulnerability until disaster strikes and it all begins to unravel.

    This ego dissolution is the first phase of the extraordinary wisdom of grief.

    Fear: Essential Wisdom For Getting Through The Storm

    FearWisdom

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    Publishers Weeklyjan 1 2003

    In this heartfelt therapeutic manifesto, psychotherapist Greenspan argues that grief, fear and despair are not pathologies to be medicated away but emotions that help us grow psychologically and spiritually. The disavowal of these painful emotions leads to depression, numbness and violence in both individuals and the world at large. But by”attending, befriending, and surrendering” to grief, fear and despair we can effect an”alchemical transformation” through which they become”gratitude, faith and joy.” Greenspan’s eclectic approach to healing invokes”depth psychology, Hasidic Judaism and Buddhist meditation” her desire to make”meaning out of suffering” owes something to religious traditions that acknowledge the redemptive value of pain, as well as psychoanalysis’s dedication to lighting up the mind’s dark recesses, while her praxis includes New Age and recovery movement therapeutics such as visualization, breathing exercises,”chakra bodytalk” and prayer. Drawing on her clinical experience and her own painful recollections of the death of her infant son and her parents’ travails during the Second World War, Greenspan writes intensely and compassionately. This is a committed, serious look at the emotions most of us would rather sweep under the rug.

    Sweigh Emily Spilkin Ma Mfa Cht

    Healing Through the Dark Emotions

    Sweigh Emily Spilkin, MA, MFA, CHT, is a somatic psychotherapist, teacher, and soon to be-“doctor” of Psychology and soul-centered growth. She helps individuals use their life challenges as gateways to realizing their souls potential. Sweigh has a thriving psychotherapy and coaching practice where she combines cutting-edge somatic techniques with grounded, spiritual wisdom to help people reframe their challenges, reclaim their power, and fully embody their souls.Sweighs background includes two Masters degrees, a three-year Somatic Experiencing trauma resolution training, a five-year embodied energy work training, and extensive education in nature-based soul work.Her greatest teacher, however, was her own bout with a chronic illness that left her nearly housebound for four years. After much patience, surrender, grieving, soul-work, nervous system healing, will, and grace, Sweigh emerged from the underworld of her illness with her soul intact. She now serves as a guide and a source of inspiration for others on the path. Sweigh can be found on the web at www.ThresholdstoAwakening.com and www.EmbodyYourSoul.com.

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    The Essence Of Healing Lies In Listening

    One of Greenspans most important early points in her book is this: The essence of healing from emotional pain lies in listening to what hurtsin both knowing how to listen to oneself and being listened to by another. Good listening is a key ingredient of good therapy and good relationships in generalas parents, as spouses, as friends, as roommates. Again, many women I know are quite skilled at listening to others, and thats a lovely relational gift. But the piece I want to focus on in this moment is how we might listen to ourselves. This is where I see lots of women struggle. How might we stay with our own emotions? How we might honor what we hear? How we might come to know our own wisdom?

    We have to befriend our dark emotions and stop thinking of them as a sign that were sick or that something is terribly, horribly wrong with us. Instead of continuing to avoid what scares us, we can choose to lean in, and we can learn to find our way through. By leaning into our feelings, and listening to them, we can increase our hardiness and our tolerance for them, and we can heal. This way of healing might sound backwards wait, I have to feel sad to feel better?but intuitively we know it to be true.

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